(April Fools) New Icebound Gaiden Announced

We at the Imperial research labs pride ourselves on our willingness to take risks. That’s why we always make test subjects sign a waiver before being subjected to 15 minutes in the Infinitum Isolation Chamber, and always conduct our mammut spontaneous-explosion experiments on officially sanctioned testing grounds that may or may not be located within feran Council territory. Since our minds are always working overtime, we needed something to occupy ourselves with now that Icebound is close to release. In that great spirit of creativity (not explosions), we are proud to announce the newest chapter in the Icebound world, Ashkar: Demon of the Freezing Ice.

You're doing what...?

You’re doing what…?

In this new “gaiden” chapter (which our supervisor tells us means spin-off, but sounds more impressive), which is totally original and is definitely not copying another title, a young feran maiden is taken in by members of the Ashkar capital guard while trying to find her father, a master alchemist who has created an unusual potion that grants ferans the powers of their ancestors. While fighting against an evil faction who hopes to use this power to topple the Empire, she might even fall in love with one of this motley crew of katana-wielding feran warriors.

Since there are no humans allowed into Ashkar, all of the major love interests (and all twenty-two characters) in our new game will be of the horned and fluffy variety. Though we are not sure if this will actually appeal to humans at all, we at the Imperial labs are all about throwing alchemy against the wall to see what sticks. Or explodes. Or phases through the wall and into the Infinitum, wiping out Research Wing D.  (Sorry, Frank!)

A.D.F.I. will also have a full battle system featuring highly advanced Q.T.E. (quick-time-event) technology. We are proud to announce that it will have at least three hours of Q.T.E. fun, which we have been assured is in all of the latest models of interactive clockwork entertainment. This is in addition to the many other exciting minigames, including horn polishing and ritual meditation.

You can find more information about this new game at its official site, here. For now, we will… wait, what’s the sound? Oh dear… I think we might have run afoul of the Academy again. The last time this happened, things didn’t turn out well. What are you waiting for, run for your–  *SIGNAL LOST*